Fear, panic and exhaustion at life.
Also fearful for life without pandemic as I enjoy staying at home and keeping life simple. I doubt we will be able to avoid going completely over busy as “normalcy” returns.
Hallelujah! Today, I spent minimal time on the Internet or on TV news or even reading the newspaper.
I helped a few people on social media, doing good deeds informing or inspiring.
Today I went outside for much of the day, enjoying the sunshine and pool and hot tub. Makes all the difference in the world and I am grateful for life in the suburbs at this time especially.
Getting the grounds ready for an outdoor barbecue here with just two friends again and we will sit on opposite sides of the deck table! It will be good. Cocktail hour and then sausage and peppers on the grill with homemade cole slaw, too. Looking forward.
May go to an outdoor restaurant on Sunday to commemorate August, the month of my deceased son. My God. He would have been 40.
And so, light on my feet, with a breeze in my hair!
Having experienced a lockdown for 76 days, with husband, daughter, granddaughter and two household helpers has made me feel closer to my family and made me realize how important it is to be together and united in our objective to remain strong,healthy and safe from the virus. It has also made me even closer to my friends who I see and talk to more often now because of our Zoom/Webex/Viber sessions. Having time in our hands, with no traffic and busy schedules to contend with has given me time to connect with friends from all over the country and overseas.
I believe that being spiritually strong is a key success factor in fighting this pandemic. My friends and I have been following the online masses of Pope Francis and other priests who give uplifting homilies.
I am definitely believing that education will not be the same anymore and I am hoping it is all for the better. When things go back to normal, I have we do not return to our old ways of teaching and learning. Instead, we become better teachers and students because of this.
I notice that I am HUGELY empathetic about what is going on in the world - especially among the already impoverished. I am also angry about the basic inequities in our world as well as within individual countries. I had never really been aware of how much human suffering - especially when it is due to inequalities - impact on me. As I read reports about the inequitable situations (eg the disproportionate number of poor people affected especially among the non-WASP populations) it confirms my belief/bias towards a more socialist and inclusive society.
I did not believe any of the conspiracy theories, but some of it looks increasingly plausible. There are those who will profit from this - in either wealth or power.
I worry that the world is becoming LESS free, cooperative, inclusive and equitable. I worry that some countries will not want to relinquish the power that they have under quarantine/emergency measures. I worry that carrying technology that can track movement will become compulsory.
In contrast to all this, in my country, NZ, there is still a community cohesion around ‘doing the right thing’ to protect others. Our leadership and prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, emphasise that human life matters: people matter. Leadership has been clear, strong and compassionate.
I was on a Zoom call yesterday with some friends, and one of them asked us all to consider whether we could shelter in place for another 6 months, if it came to that. Several of us are anticipating a surge of the virus in the fall. None of us has any confidence that the pandemic will be over in the short term. We talked about how so much has changed in the world. This will affect so many different parts of our lives. Travel will be affected, as will in-restaurant dining; farmers' market/retail store samples, church services, and the list goes on. We can't get the vaccine for the foreseeable future, and while the number of people being tested continues to be low, there is a part of me that questions whether testing is just a panacea, since there are a) false positives, b) false negatives, and c) the potential for a person to be infected shortly after being getting a negative test.
All of us on the Zoom call agreed that we could shelter in place for another 6 months, and keep to our general routines (limiting trips to stores, obsessive hand washing, regular disinfecting of surface areas like door knobs and cell phones). Most of us conceded that sheltering in place has given us time (and de facto permission, or do I mean direction?) to work on the many projects that we all have (and which we successfully avoided, pre-COVID).
I was struck by the front page of the NY Times which listed 1,000 names of the nearly 100,000 who have died. It was sobering in light of this lovely weather which invites everyone to be out and about. It's difficult not to be with friends but we are still being very careful not to socialize with more than two people at a time so that we can stay far enough apart. I am so sad about all the people who have suffered through this.
But today we took a walk with our dog, Emma (who turned 7 today!) and enjoyed the South Hill Recreational trail. There are new murals along the way on the fence that is along the first part near Hudson Street.
I wonder if we will ever stop wearing masks. If I forget in a store even for a moment people either say something or look at me strange until I put my mask on. I guess this is the new normal in our society.
I'm all in that DIY-Deepspace on Youtube. Making Phone-probs out of toilet paper rolls, making napkin rings out of toilet paper rolls... all that stuff. I've always loved to do that but most of the time, I don't have the time for it. So doing that was really nice and relaxing.
I'm reading a super interesting book about palaeontology - it's my hobby, a bit weird, but I love it. I've always loved dinosaurs! I never talk about it much because it's considered a 'boy-topic' and when I was younger, I got bullied by boys and girls for liking it. But I never gave up on it, I just don't tell everyone anymore. But it's sooo interesting - I can't understand why anyone could think this is boring. And it helps keep my mind of this stupid lockdown. It's been 6 weeks now (6!! jesus!) and still there is no sound from the government if they're gonna lift it anytime soon. Which is super annoying. I just want it to stop so I can finally meet my friends again - not that I don't love my roommates, but one just moved out and so I'm stuck with my other roommate and his girlfriend. And it's hella annoying to be the third wheel all the time and they are one of those couples who always (subconsciously?) let you really feel that YOU are the 100th wheel on that bike... I just need to see other faces.
I'm privileged enough that I can observe the protests and participate in funding the fight without having to get into "good trouble" myself. Is that the best option? Should I risk more?